★ After the children were asleep, she stood by the bed and cried, “I'm sorry. Mama shouldn't be like this.” That night she had kicked the kitchen cupboard until it broke.
★ The author spent about twelve years as a court clerk in Japan, attending around 2,000 hearings a year and turning what happened in the courtroom into the written record. In court, a case is settled by holding fact and judgement apart. She took that method home.
★ No psychology background needed, and no need to set aside a block of time. Draw one line down the middle of the page: what happened on the left, what you felt on the right. Five minutes before bed, and you close the notebook.
★ “Mama, look!” “Mama, look!” — dozens of times a day. A partner who does not help with the housework. Parents-in-law who keep pushing their own idea of how you should live. Every one of these situations comes with a worked example: how to write it, and what happens once you have.
★ Rights sold: Traditional Chinese.

All it takes is one line drawn in your notebook, and two things written down — “what happened” and “what I felt”. Then you can see inside yourself.

“I love my child, and still I cannot be gentle with them.”

“My partner is so self-centred it drives me mad.”

“My parents, my in-laws, keep forcing their idea of what I should be on me.”

“Childcare and housework lead me around by the nose, and my work never moves at my own pace.”

At times like these, “what happened, what other people said” and “what I think, what I feel” must be tangled into one knot in your head. Five minutes before bed, sit down with the notebook and sort out the irritation and the gloom.

The author was formerly a court clerk — a “note-taking expert”. Situation by situation, she sets out a large number of concrete worked examples, to help you separate “what you want to say” from “what has fallen out of step inside you”, and make “what should I do, what do I want to do” clear.

Masayo Sano
Former court clerk and certified English pronunciation instructor. From Kanagawa Prefecture; graduated from Sophia University's Faculty of Law, Department of International Legal Studies.
She worked as a court clerk in the Civil Division of the Yokohama District Court, attending around 2,000 hearings a year and turning what happened in the courtroom into the written record. In Japan, court clerks are also known as kōshōkan — in effect the state-certified note-takers of the courtroom.
Then, raising two children, she was swept up by irritation and anxiety and came to loathe herself. To change that, she took the thinking-organisation method she had practised in court and made it into the “feelings notebook” — writing to sort out thoughts and feelings, so that a person can move forward again.
Along the way she came to see how much it matters for children to master language early, and against her husband's strong opposition she left the court and founded a general incorporated association for English pronunciation instruction (the official Japanese name is still to be confirmed). Today, as a “pronunciation instructor who builds language ability from the voice”, she runs courses that teach pronunciation through songs and picture books, home English courses and English reading and writing courses, trains other instructors, visits schools to teach, and — with the support of local government and boards of education — holds parent-and-child events and talks for parents and teachers.
She is also the author of “Sono Ba de Gengo-ka Dekiru Memo” (“Notes That Put It Into Words on the Spot”).

Preface　My path as a mother was never supposed to look like this
Chapter 1　Why does the irritation disappear once you write it down?
Chapter 2　Just draw a line and write! Three simple steps for sorting out your feelings
Chapter 3　The irritation of parenting — this is how to sort it out
Chapter 4　Trouble with other people — this is how to untangle it
Chapter 5　So writing really is a strange and wonderful thing! The power of notes to make a better future
Afterword　My path as a mother — this is good as it is