[Reader's Comment]
When reading this book, like many others, I felt the piercing sadness, lonely pain, sadness, and despair. But in addition to these, I also saw the precise description of everyone's inner needs in the book: we are all looking for something that can help us grow and become a mature version of ourselves deep inside. For this, we all need someone to 'accompany us'. We need psychological investment, such as attention, care, companionship, etc., otherwise we will be trapped like injured children, each at their own age, unable to move forward and complete the psychological transformation from children to adults. At the same time, we may fully adapt and even succeed in society, have our own families and children, and even be able to distance ourselves from our parents, thinking we are completely independent, but in reality, we have not achieved separation. This is not because we choose to remain childish, as many people believe, but because we cannot let go of our parents' hands in our hearts. We cannot let go because we do not want to lose hope, that in this vast and complex world, at least one person will be by our side, becoming our reliance and support.

★ From renowned psychology bestselling author Yulia Pirumova, whose works have been authorized for publication in China, this book has caused a huge response on social media since its publication!
★ Separation is a compulsory course for growth. Separation is not only a psychological separation from parents, but also the key to achieving independence and freedom. Through scientific analysis and real cases, this book delves into the root causes of separation barriers and directly addresses inner pain points!
★ From infancy to adulthood, by comprehensively analyzing the stages of life separation and breaking down the separation tasks of each stage, it helps us bid farewell to "psychological underage" and unlock true independence!
★ How to deal with emotional blackmail, set healthy boundaries, and break free from manipulation. This book will teach you to break the invisible shackles with your parents, understand their love and hurt, reshape your relationship with them, find new ways to get along, and achieve emotional independence.
★ Each chapter is accompanied by tables and summaries, providing clear growth paths that are suitable for all readers who desire independence, improve family relationships, or experience psychological growth difficulties.

This book is the latest work by psychology bestselling author Julia Pirurova. This book has sparked a huge response on social media. In her new book, she sees separation as the primary condition for maturity and the key to achieving freedom and independent living - not only in relationships with parents but also in relationships with others. This book explores the theme of separation: what hinders us from being separated from our parents and living our own lives? It is suitable for those who feel nervous in their relationship with their parents but cannot understand the root of this tension: why do my parents' opinions still have such a great impact on me today? Why do I still rely on them, even though I have been living independently for a long time? How can I ultimately achieve autonomy while maintaining a relationship with my parents? To become a mature and independent person, simply moving away from our parents is not enough, we need to achieve psychological separation from them.

There is no redundancy in the book, and all the content is concise and clear. Starting from the first line, readers will be deeply attracted. The author explains what separation is, pointing out that it not only involves vertical relationships (with parents), but also horizontal relationships (with peers), and sequentially unfolds these two types of separation.
The author describes the secondary personality corresponding to the state of separation and provides tests for self testing and self-control. At the end of each chapter, she summarizes the most important points in a table format.
By reading this book, you will learn:
-Why can't I establish a good relationship with my parents;
-How to stop feeling guilty or in lifelong debt towards them;
-What should I do if getting along with my parents becomes unbearable;
-How not separating affects life and relationships with others;
-How to help oneself complete separation.

Through this book, you can determine your own state, understand it, and 'grow' into an adult. This book is suitable for a wide range of readers: those interested in psychology; People who hope to solve their own problems and achieve separation; Professionals in this field, etc.

【Author】 Julia Pirumova
PhD, psychologist, practicing Gestalt therapist, popular blogger, and bestselling author. Her works have won the love of readers worldwide with profound psychological insights and easy to understand language style. Yulia initially studied law, but after completing her doctoral thesis, she turned to the field of psychology, focusing on psychotherapy and mental health education. She has pursued further studies at renowned institutions such as the Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis, the Chistye Prudy Institute of Psychoanalysis, and the Moscow Gestalt Institute, accumulating rich clinical experience and academic background.

Yulia's works not only help readers understand complex psychological phenomena, but also provide practical self-healing methods. Her representative workshave attracted widespread attention and become classics in the field of psychology:
"Fragile Narcissists: The Truth Behind Self Esteem"
"Every Girl is Little Red Riding Hood: How to Find the Path to Self" "Leaving for Better Growth: Separation is Compulsory Course in Life"

**Introduction: Injured Children Walking on Earth**
**Part One: Why Separation is Necessary and How to Identify Separation Issues**
-What is separation and why is it necessary
-How to determine if there are problems with separation
-The obvious separation problem
-Less obvious separation issue
-Determine the goal of your separation
-Vertical separation and horizontal separation
-Fusion Separation Regression
-The relationship with Gestalt psychology
-Pursuing freedom and autonomy

**Part 2: Stages and States of Separation**
-Separated state
-Phase 1: infancy
-From birth to three months
-From three months to one year old
-From one to three years old
-What happens if you fail to successfully pass through infancy
-Separated state: infants that require attention
-Separation state: Avoidant infant
-Infant Separation Status Table
-Phase 2: Childhood
-What happens if childhood is not successfully spent
-Separation state: dependent children
-Separated state: Anti dependent children
-Table of Separation Status of Children
-Phase Three: Adolescence
-Horizontal Separation: Initial Stage
-What happens if one fails to successfully navigate through adolescence
-Separated state: rebellious teenager
-Separation status: adaptive adolescents
-Table of Separation Status of Adolescents
-Stage 4: Early adulthood
-Horizontal Separation: Active Stage
-What happens if one fails to successfully navigate through early adulthood
-Separated state: unconfident 'non adults'
-Separation state: overconfident 'non adults'
-Separation status table for 'non adults'
-Part 2 Summary

**Part Three: Four Factors Hindering Separation**
-Attachment disorder
-Avoidant attachment
-Anxious attachment
-Chaotic attachment
-Self testing
-Psychological trauma
-Traumatic events
-Developmental trauma
-How trauma affects separation
-Self testing
-Parents' childish behavior
-A dysfunctional family system
-Role reversal
-Sexual relationship
-Part Three Summary

**Part Four: Growth and Self Healing**
-Immature secondary personality and its' growth 'algorithm
-The growth and healing of inner infants
-Step 1: Get to know
-Step 2: Forgive
-Step 3: Thank you
-Step 4: Help
-The growth and healing of inner children
-Step 1: Get to know
-Step 2: Forgive
-Step 3: Thank you
-Step 4: Help
-The Growth and Healing of Inner Adolescents
-Step 1: Get to know
-Step 2: Forgive
-Step 3: Thank you
-Step 4: Help
-The growth and healing of 'non adults'
-Step 1: Get to know
-Step 2: Forgive
-Step 3: Thank you
-Step 4: Help
-Part Four Summary

**Part 5: Sprint Stage: Complete Separation**
-When do we become adults
-How is separation accomplished
-Why does separation cause resistance
-Prepare to separate and establish support
-Complete the first step of separation
-Exploring the Connection with Life
-Who am I hiding behind
-Determine the old trigger points and complete the Gestalt
-How do parents hinder your life
-Thank parents - if truly grateful
-Determine the current stage of life tasks
-Realize independence
-Realize functional independence
-Get rid of conflicting dependencies
-Dealing with emotional dependence
-Cultivate value independence
-Rethinking the Connection with Parents
-It's not a relationship, but a connection
-Gratitude and Resistance
-Searching for oneself
-Accepting others' emotional reactions to us
-Learn to compromise
-Healthy Refusal
-Have the right to say 'no'
-Learn to refuse
-Determine the appropriate distance
-Learn to increase distance
-Interrupt manipulation
-Identify emotional blackmail and learn how to deal with it
-Practice healthy selfishness
-Set boundaries
-Forgive your parents. Or not forgiving
-Part 5 Summary

Conclusion: Only by leaving can one grow
About the author