★Rights sold: Simplified Chinese.
★This work is a classic reprint of a 2018 old book, but it still received a lot of support after publication:
It ranked 2nd in the Psychology and Inspiration category at Kingstone, 7th in the Humanities and Social Sciences category at Eslite Bookstore, and 9th in the Psychology and Inspiration category at BOOKS!
★The author, who topped the 2017 Eslite bestseller list, was named one of the "Top Ten Influential Books" by Kingstone, and ranked TOP2 in BOOKS's annual bestsellers with "Emotional Blackmail," has sold the rights to the book in simplified Chinese for Mainland China, as well as in Korea, Thailand, Vietnam, Singapore and Malaysia, and Indonesia!
★"Black Hole of Relationships" is written for many people who are just beginning to learn to understand themselves and others. Therefore, the focus of this book is not on how difficult the theories are, but rather on the hope that readers of this book will feel understood and gain the ability to view themselves anew.

Why do relationships that we work so hard on, out of love, care, and valuing the other person, lead us to the edge of a cliff?

When we obsessively call our partners, check up on them,
When we always want to know our children's whereabouts,
When we care deeply about what others think,
We always say: "It's because we care, because of love."
But that's not love, that's deep-rooted insecurity.

Has your love been clipped by 'insecurity'?
Are you being 'kidnapped' by 'insecurity' in your relationships?

The lack of security is like an unfillable bottomless pit, and the more we feed it, the more monstrous it becomes.

Due to the lack of security, we easily resort to destructive expressions, such as hoping the other party will return calls quickly, always answer every call, or be transparent in their whereabouts, but these can easily make the other party feel suffocated, suspected, and controlled. When the other party leaves, we fall into the life script of "In this world, no one loves me." We carry deeper self-doubt and denial, and although we enter the next relationship, we often experience a cycle of more frustration and loss.

If a person lacks security, the more they are loved, the less they believe they are worthy of love, yet they constantly yearn for it.
And this is the saddest thing in the world.

Always with precise analysis and touching cases, the psychologist Muzi writes about the difficulties and pain we encounter in life and provides ways to adjust. In this book, she self-dissects her past anxiety-attachment personality, which made her terrified that she would have to live a life filled with insecurity, torturing herself and others.

She professionally and gently tells readers that even if doubt accompanies anxiety, growing like a snowball, and even if each attack of insecurity is like a tsunami, each of us still has ways to cope that will not be overwhelmed and can save ourselves. Please believe that we, who have grown up, can do this gently.

How does insecurity affect our love? How to avoid the pursuit and escape, mutual resentment?
If I am an 'anxious attachment': Please give yourself a sense of security.
If I am the partner of an 'anxious attachment': Establish emotional boundaries and express your feelings.

If you are an 'avoidant attachment': Please practice expressing your feelings.
If my partner is an 'avoidant attachment': Please give them 'space and time to soothe their emotions'.

Zhou Muzi, Psychologist

Licensed Psychologist / Co-founder of Xinxi Psychological Counseling Office. She is the author of the 2017 Eslite bestseller, one of Kingstone's "Top Ten Influential Books," and BOOKS's annual top-selling book number two, "Emotional Blackmail: The Most Suffocating Ways of Interacting in Partners, Parent-Child, and Workplace Relationships." The book "Emotional Blackmail" has been sold to Mainland China in simplified Chinese, as well as to South Korea, Thailand, Vietnam, Singapore and Malaysia, and Indonesia. She has also written five other books: "Black Hole of Relationships," "They All Say You 'Should,'" "Overworking," "Shame Trauma," and "Intimacy Phobia." Among them, "Emotional Blackmail," "Overworking," "Shame Trauma," and "Intimacy Phobia" have been selected as "Books From Taiwan" by the Ministry of Culture.

She also hosts a Podcast/YouTube channel: "Zhou Muzi Speaks Freely."

From broadcasting to psychological counseling, from being a psychologist to the lead singer of a metal band, she seems to be an 'atypical' role no matter where she is. For her, 'accepting oneself and gaining freedom' is the most important thing in life.