★ A rare patient-perspective memoir that refuses the "triumph over illness" narrative. Spanning anorexia in middle school to bipolar disorder in university, Deng Xiaohua offers an unvarnished, ongoing account of coexistence rather than conquest, filling a critical gap in authentic adolescent mental health literature for readers aged 12-22 and those who care for them.
★ A book focused on adolescent mental health. It helps young people experiencing emotional distress feel "I am not alone," while also giving parents, teachers, and social workers deeper insight into the inner world of young patients.
★ A gentle reminder for everyone navigating the darkness: you don't need to be perfect, you just need to keep going. This memoir offers hope, connection, and visibility for those who often suffer in silence.

From middle school onward, Deng Xiaohua knew something was wrong. Diagnosed with depression and anorexia as a teenager, she spent her high school years in recovery. But university brought a new diagnosis: bipolar disorder. Hospitalization, a leave of absence, and interrupted studies followed. This is not a triumphant story of overcoming mental illness. It is something more honest: a raw, in-progress account of living with multiple diagnoses, of relapsing and trying again, of finding support and learning to adjust.

Written with vulnerability and warmth, this book offers companionship to young people struggling in silence, insight to parents and educators, and a gentle reminder to all of us: you don't need to be perfect. Just keep moving forward.

Deng Xiaohua (邓晓华)
For me, writing is both healing and strength. I hope this book can be a small light, accompanying you through dark days and reminding you: Please love yourself well. You deserve to be treated with gentleness.

Foreword: To You Who Are on the Journey
Chapter 1: Gray Mist Quietly Creeping into Middle School Life
Chapter 2: If Jumping Could End Everything, Encountering Depression
Chapter 3: A New Visitor: Encountering Bipolar Disorder in University
Chapter 4: The Long Trial of Treatment
Chapter 5: Labels and Loneliness, Facing Society and the Self
Chapter 6: The Turning Point in the Dark
Chapter 7: Coexisting with Challenges
Chapter 8: To the Future You and Those Beside You
Conclusion: Creating a Warmer World Together