“A touching and intimate novel that sparkles with humor even in the midst of despair.”
— Le Journal de Montréal

“A novel written with unique sensitivity, lifting the veil on the still-taboo subject of depression.”
— Salut Bonjour

“At 30, Fabienne is recovering from a depression that felt as long as winter, aided by the love of her family, the empathy of her psychologist, and her painting. However, light will eventually return. This debut novel by Quebec author Mélissa Perron is deeply moving.”
— Véro Magazine

“If there is one thing that impressed me most about this novel, it is its light. Despite the heavy subject matter, the story does not drag us into a gloomy and oppressive world. It is a book full of hope, yet it maintains a high sense of realism. (...) Every word is carefully weighed, sketching a moving and tangible portrait.”
— Les Méconnus Blog

★Russian rights sold.
★Audiobook and TV adaptation rights sold.
★Following the chronological sequence of "Winter – Spring Buds," the novel chronicles how Fabiana, a 30-year-old painter, confronts illness, prejudice, and her own trauma with the companionship of her lover, her best friend, and her therapist. Through picking up her paintbrush once again, she rediscovers a sense of being "needed." Despite its heavy themes, critics have unanimously praised the text as being "full of light and hope" and the language as "precisely palpable in every sentence," maintaining a sense of humor and tenderness even amidst despair.

At thirty, Fabiana has everything she needs to be happy: financial independence and a promising career as a painter. Her house, nestled in a vast woodland at the foot of a mountain, stands right next to her studio—her "lighthouse." But what does any of this matter now? Depression has cut down the young woman like a scythe. To the big stray orange cat she feeds, she says: "He used to be like me: lost."

Fabiana may be lost, but she is not alone. Around her, a "resistance" is organizing: her lover and her best friend stand guard over her, while a psychiatrist accompanies her through the labyrinth of the illness. This support may serve to offset the attitudes of others—those who repeatedly tell her that depression is merely a sign of cowardice and weakness, remarking that she is "her father's daughter, after all."

As she navigates these difficult moments, Fabiana discovers much about herself and her past—sometimes even more than she had hoped for. Through art, she attempts to exorcise the anxieties and fears that torment her. At the same time, an irresistible urge to "be needed" rises within her.

Despite the grip of depression and a winter that seems endless, Fabiana refuses to bow down, stubbornly dreaming of the first tulips of spring. This is a powerful and moving novel centered on an illness that remains more taboo than ever.

Mélissa Perron

A multi-talented creator from Quebec, Canada, Melissa Perron is a novelist, painter, illustrator, podcast host, and public speaker. She has long lived at the foot of the mountain where she was born, embracing the life motto that "everything is possible."

At the age of 38, she was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. This experience prompted her to incorporate the neurodivergent experience into her novels and graphic novels, and she now shares her insights on the topic of "Women and Autism" through various lectures.