Adolescents aren't hard to communicate with, instead they need you to be on the same team with them.

Adolescents drive parents crazy?
They are stubborn, temperamental, rebellious, difficult to communicate, and they deny when obviously needing help, always saying, "Okay, I don't know, it doesn't matter".
They even growl, "You're so annoying." "Why do you keep asking?"
What should parents do?

When dealing with adolescents, parents should be detectives.
Help your child see every little good thing about him or her, and "magnify" every good thing.

Parents feel frustrated and hurt when they have an adolescent at home?
"When he was a kid, he used to stick to me and be really affectionate with me, but now the kid hates me and talks back..."
"A few days ago, I wanted to turn off his Internet connection, but my kid even threatened to die and hit his head against the wall...

Adolescents are rebellious and difficult to communicate with... But they don't mean to push their parents in a pickle, because adolescents are moving towards independence and becoming themselves. Therefore, discovering a sense of value and belonging is the most important thing for them. When they don't have a sense of value and belonging, they are prone to problematic behaviors, such as hating to study, lying, cheating, and being addicted to Internet. What should parents do about these behaviors that they cannot accept and are worried about?

Relationship = Influence. How good the relationship between parents and children is, how much influence they have on their children

‧ Stop preaching, urging, and other authoritative, top-down words, such as "go studying now" and "don't watch TV all the time", which are useful to educate children in primary school, but are not effective for adolescents.
‧ When a child does not like to study, parents should start with "parent-child reading" to cultivate the child's motivation to learn and look for "small steps" that the child can take.
‧ If your child's addicted to mobile phone, it is more important to help your child gain a sense of value and belonging in real life, in addition to controlling the amount of time your child spends on the Internet.
‧ Communicate with adolescents and harness the "I - Message" in the right way. Parents should accompany their children not to convince or change them, but to let them feel that "because I love you, so I will be with you no matter what happens".

Psychologist Tsai Yi-Fang has worked with adolescents for a long time and is also a mother of two, so she can empathize with children who show up problematic behaviors as well as understand the frustration and powerlessness of parents in raising children.
Family therapy points out that children's problems in fact reflect problems in the functioning of the family system. For example, in the case of "you chase me, and I run away", the stricter the parents control the child, the more the child bounces back. The more the child bounces back, the more the parents feel that the child is too rebellious and has to be controlled, thus creating a vicious cycle.
Parents are too eager for their children to excel, so they have a lot of expectations and demands for children. However, they often forget that what their children lack the most, and what their children need the most, is someone who is willing to take the time to understand children's difficulties, and to accompany them in solving their problems. This is a practical parenting book for every parent struggling with their child.

Tsai Yi-Fang

Professional Education Background:
M.A. in Counseling Psychology Group, Department of Educational Psychology and Counseling, National Taiwan Normal University, Counseling Psychologist for College Entrance Examination
Focus on short-term therapy training programs totaling 60 hours
Art therapy related courses totaling 72 hours

She has served in high school, vocational schools, community organizations, and psychiatric wards. Currently, she is a full-time junior high school counseling teacher and a columnist for Education•Parenting Family Lifestyle, Future Family, MamiBuy, and Womany.
She has organized seminars and workshops more than 100 times, such as different company and parenting seminars, ballooning stress relief & self-care workshops, and self-affirmation seminars.
She specializes in parenting, self-affirmation, family of origin, emotional distress, intimate relationships, interpersonal and career and other issues. She has published Catching Falling Teenagers: Me and Those Hurting Children and Their Disturbed Families.