“In the counseling room, the most honest couples face to face, the archaeological problems of love are dismantled from the heart.”
It is rare to see the real appearance of “marriage counseling” in the market, so realistic and familiar.

▌How did we get here? Where should we go next?
The “triangular relationship” between the husband, the wife, and the mother-in-law;
She forgives her husband for the affair, but don't forgive herself for cheating;
The infinite cycle of “quarrel, cold war, apologize” is exhausting;
The problem of children's refusal to go to school is actually the tip of the iceberg of marital problems…
▌Using their stories as a mirror, let's try to look harder for “ourselves”, okay?

◆◆◆
Let's sit down and talk.
Because we care about each other, far more than anything else.

●“What makes you come to counseling together even though you have different ideas?”
The psychologist accompanies the couple to find a possible way out of the marriage fog.
The wife who has to win over her husband, the husband who feel like a conscious outsider, the dependent one meets the caregiver, the relationship between husband and wife is like a “father and daughter”, the anxious wife who “pursues the matter to the end” and the husband who escapes when something happens…
→There is a certain pattern of role allocation between couples, but there is no such thing as an “unchanging relationship”. If the pattern does not evolve or adjust at different stages of life, the relationship may become fractured and deteriorate.

●“What changes would you expect to see in this relationship?”
The psychologist initiated communication, leading couples to state their difficulties and challenges, and delicately interpreting the motives behind their words and behaviors, so as to gradually getting to the essence and core of the problem.

Only then did they realize: the wife who was jealous of her husband’s promotion was actually doubting her own self-worth, and the wife who thought she had the responsibility to take care of her husband was actually the culprit of hurting their intimacy.

→Relationships are interactive, and by penetrating the surface of the stalemate, the two people have the opportunity to develop resilience together, and as long as one of them makes a change, the whole relationship will begin to change.

When I saw my parents in conflict and suffering as a child, Ms. Tsu-chi Lo thought to herself: If only someone could help them, it would be great. Having been involved in couples therapy for many years, she uses dialogues and exercises to help both couples understand that both people are actually hurting, to recognize each other's difficulties and limitations, to respect each other's efforts, and to rebuild trust and confidence in the relationship.

[Give love a chance and give yourself acceptance as we walk with each other on the road to healing.]

Book Features

●Through other people's stories, we can look at each other and then reflect on our own relationships:
1.Reading other people's stories is like looking in a mirror, that makes us realize our own “marriage story”.
2. Through the dialogues in the book, we learn to decipher the real meaning hidden behind each other's words (which may not even be discovered by the other person themselves).
3. Many of us find a ray of light in this book when we have difficulty speaking. By talking about the difficulties and challenges, the couples will have the opportunity to face and experience them together, and to learn how to be a support to each other.

●At the end of each article, there is a unit called “The Psychologist's Practice of Loving Each Other”, which provides practical exercises to expand your thinking and practice the method.

●[Special Program] Ten Things to Avoid Saying in Couple Arguments/ Ten Things to Avoid Doing in Couple Conflicts.

●[Special Inclusion] How to Invite Your Couple to Marriage Counseling/ Directions and Resources for Help/ Recommended Books and Videos.

●“Think about this: In the family, there is the husband-wife relationship, the parent-child relationship, and the sibling relationship. Which family relationship do you spend the most time in a day? And in which relationships do you invest the least?”

From the moment the child is born, there is a new life connection in the intimacy of the couples, but paradoxically, the only and exclusive intimacy between the couples has disappeared since then.

We emphasize the parent-child relationship, but we should not overlook the fact that the family originates from the axis of “husband-wife relationship”.

●There are three important things to do In the management of intimate relationships: Speak out one's own emotions, feelings and needs, try to understand the other person's emotions, feelings and needs, and practice responding to the other person's emotions, feelings and needs.

Through “speaking out”, “hearing”, and “responding”, conflicts and grievances are transformed into acceptance and understanding, and the other is given the opportunity to grow and adapt.

Tsu-chi Lo (Counseling Psychologist)

●Counseling Psychologist Certificate No. 000800, she has seventeen years of experience.
●Specialties: Couples and family relationships, family of origin, gender violence and trauma, depression and loss, workplace stress.
●She has participated in and supervised inter-professional family system work, and is a consulting psychologist for the Huairen Holistic Development Center, a cooperating psychologist for the Tatung Early Treatment Center of the Family Support Foundation, the First Foundation, the Angel Heart Foundation, and the Taipei City Domestic Violence Center, a training instructor for enterprises employee training, and a cooperating writer for the “Future Family” digital columns.
●She has served as a supervisor of the Taoyuan Counseling Psychologists Association's program for families with physical disabilities, as the head of the care department of the Angel Heart Foundation, and as a full-time counselor in the Heart Counseling Group of the Taipei National University of Education.
　　
She is also the author of “Raise Your Hand If You Are Sad: Practice Accepting Sadness and Loss to Find the Courage to Move Forward”.