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《 与施虐者同眠：走出亲密关系中的情感操纵 》
- 情感操纵
- 选题分类：心理通俗读物 变态/病态 恋爱 婚姻
- 原版语种：俄语（可提供图书翻译服务）
- 出版日期：2020年06月
- 页数：304页
- 图书定价：（不详）
- 开本：146mm×220mm
- 浏览次数：339
- 字数：（不详）
- 作品星级：
- 内文印刷：（不详）
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已售版权
中国大陆(中文简体)
推荐人
“塔尼亚·丹科的书是一部非小说类的心理类惊悚片”——来自俄罗斯“文化”在线报。
“一本让你大开眼界，拯救万千女性命运的书。”——IRECOMMAND社区评论
“对于刚进入感情关系的青少年孩子来说，这是一本至关重要的书，会教会他们正确的感情观。”——MEL online magazine
“这本书很有趣，就想在读一个令人颤抖的爱情故事，故事情节交织在一起”——psychologies.ru《心理学》杂志
“一本让你大开眼界，拯救万千女性命运的书。”——IRECOMMAND社区评论
“对于刚进入感情关系的青少年孩子来说，这是一本至关重要的书，会教会他们正确的感情观。”——MEL online magazine
“这本书很有趣，就想在读一个令人颤抖的爱情故事，故事情节交织在一起”——psychologies.ru《心理学》杂志
版权推荐
★每个女人都应该拥有的一本书！一本不可抗拒的书，也是一本救命书！
★亲密关系中150 种女性最常遇到的情感操纵典型情况。
★本书如何在为时已晚之前发现施虐者：那些可能没有注意到的隐藏技巧和操纵，帮助我们对使用性作为操纵对象的破坏性人格进行更加系统化的了解，并讲述了如何结束与施虐者的关系。
★可提供英文样章。
★亲密关系中150 种女性最常遇到的情感操纵典型情况。
★本书如何在为时已晚之前发现施虐者：那些可能没有注意到的隐藏技巧和操纵，帮助我们对使用性作为操纵对象的破坏性人格进行更加系统化的了解，并讲述了如何结束与施虐者的关系。
★可提供英文样章。
内容简介
他爱我，却出轨
他爱我，但刻薄地批评
他爱我，却控制着每一步
他爱我，但我们天天吵架
他爱我，但经常离开然后……又回来
他爱我，但我不知何故常常感到内疚……
他爱我，但我却陷入了抑郁
我和他在一起感觉很好，但是……又很糟糕
他折磨我，是因为太爱我了吧？
是我搞砸了我们的关系吗？
他为什么选择她，而不是我？
是否应该再相信他的悔意？
他会为我而改变吗？
应该走出这段用尽全力的爱吗？
如何不再爱他并让他离开我的脑海？
停止！你确定这是爱，而不是假借真实感情强加给你的危险假象？侵蚀你生命的有毒替代品？真爱还是假象？看仔细了，不要混淆！
心碎、失望、艰难的分手……每天，读者都会给我发来戏剧性的忏悔，他们会问同样的问题——这些问题对于每个与哪些“自相矛盾”的人有着“复杂”爱情的人来说，都是常见的。在这本书中，作者从来信中收集并评论了150个典型情况。现在，打开目录并查找属于“你的”那一种！
塔尼亚·丹科这本书帮助我们对使用性作为操纵对象的破坏性人格进行更加系统化的了解。 在高质量、健康的关系中，相爱的伴侣会尽量及时地满足彼此的需求。如果不是这种情况，那么值得仔细看看你的伴侣是否将你当做满足自己私欲的操纵对象。
他爱我，但刻薄地批评
他爱我，却控制着每一步
他爱我，但我们天天吵架
他爱我，但经常离开然后……又回来
他爱我，但我不知何故常常感到内疚……
他爱我，但我却陷入了抑郁
我和他在一起感觉很好，但是……又很糟糕
他折磨我，是因为太爱我了吧？
是我搞砸了我们的关系吗？
他为什么选择她，而不是我？
是否应该再相信他的悔意？
他会为我而改变吗？
应该走出这段用尽全力的爱吗？
如何不再爱他并让他离开我的脑海？
停止！你确定这是爱，而不是假借真实感情强加给你的危险假象？侵蚀你生命的有毒替代品？真爱还是假象？看仔细了，不要混淆！
心碎、失望、艰难的分手……每天，读者都会给我发来戏剧性的忏悔，他们会问同样的问题——这些问题对于每个与哪些“自相矛盾”的人有着“复杂”爱情的人来说，都是常见的。在这本书中，作者从来信中收集并评论了150个典型情况。现在，打开目录并查找属于“你的”那一种！
塔尼亚·丹科这本书帮助我们对使用性作为操纵对象的破坏性人格进行更加系统化的了解。 在高质量、健康的关系中，相爱的伴侣会尽量及时地满足彼此的需求。如果不是这种情况，那么值得仔细看看你的伴侣是否将你当做满足自己私欲的操纵对象。
作者介绍
【作者】塔尼亚·丹科
俄罗斯知名记者，博主，心理学家，健康关系专家，《生动杂志社》的主编，畅销书作者。塔尼亚·丹科毕业于N. I. Lobachevsky 国立大学，在新闻界建立了自己的职业生涯，从业25 年的塔尼亚·丹科，于2011 年成为俄罗斯新闻奖“专业卓越奖”的获得者，2014年成为第四届全俄媒体竞赛的获胜者。塔尼亚·丹科在Instagram 和 LiveJournal 上发布关于情感虐待的博客，拥有大量粉丝和流量，著有《害怕吧，我和你在一起》三部曲，《与施虐者同眠》《我的有毒家庭》等热门图书，并成为破坏性/自恋/情感虐待关系方面的权威，未来她将继续探索与这个话题相关的一切。
俄罗斯知名记者，博主，心理学家，健康关系专家，《生动杂志社》的主编，畅销书作者。塔尼亚·丹科毕业于N. I. Lobachevsky 国立大学，在新闻界建立了自己的职业生涯，从业25 年的塔尼亚·丹科，于2011 年成为俄罗斯新闻奖“专业卓越奖”的获得者，2014年成为第四届全俄媒体竞赛的获胜者。塔尼亚·丹科在Instagram 和 LiveJournal 上发布关于情感虐待的博客，拥有大量粉丝和流量，著有《害怕吧，我和你在一起》三部曲，《与施虐者同眠》《我的有毒家庭》等热门图书，并成为破坏性/自恋/情感虐待关系方面的权威，未来她将继续探索与这个话题相关的一切。
图书目录
Preface 8
PART ONE. BLOSSOM AND BERRIES 11
1. Idealizing or really in love? 12
2. Her way from a goddess to a skinny junkie 15
3. He is calling me positive and holy 16
4. Why didn’t I sense his lies? 18
5. He treated women badly but love to me made him different 20
6. Why didn’t we have romance and worship? 24
7. He hated me, and then fell in love 25
8. He likes me, but he's shy 27
9. I was like under hypnosis 32
10. I can’t forget the euphoria of the first weeks 33
11. Her sun rises and sets on him 35
12. He demanded to leave social networks 37
13. I can’t help but worry 40
14. I broke my leg, but he didn’t care 41
15. I told him the most intimate 42
16. “Change your character or break up” 44
17. “Are you ready to improve yourself for the sake of a loved one?”………45
18. He didn’t come either half past six or half past seven... 46
19. He tells me nasty gossip about me 49
20. After I confessed my love to him, hell began 50
21. He makes me watch a violent movie 52
22. I’m waiting for him to open up to me again 53
23. One day he adds me as a friend, then the next day he unfriends me 54
24. I live in fear of offending him 56
25. It's bad with him, but it’s even worse without him 58
26. He said, “You’re blind”, and gone 59
27. “You’re not even interested in what happened to me?” 61
28. He has no money for food, I want to give him 5,000 62
29. He moved in with me three weeks later 65
30. He asked to marry me and... is silent about the wedding 66
31. Is he going to marry her? 69
32. Is there an abuse without depreciation? 70
33. He doesn’t hit me, but I have... bruises 71
34. I became afraid of holidays 73
35. He demands money from me for his mortgage 75
36. My boyfriend offered me to give him my salary .76
37. He promised to surprise, but didn’t even congratulate me 78
38. He is demanding I return gifts he gave me 81
39. Are there generous abusers? 82
40. He complains to everyone that I don’t cook well 83
41. He reproaches me with every piece 84
42. He says that I attract negativity into his life 87
43. I started playing giveaway 89
44. ... it would be better if he shouted! 90
45. We spend hours sorting things out 92
46. I drink, and it's still not enough 94
47. He demands I always be perfect 96
48. I’m thinking about suicide more and more often 99
49. I don’t know which one of us is an abuser anymore 101
50. I tried to have a dialogue, but I got even more confused 103
51. He said that the solution of our problems is a child 105
52. He dreamed of having children, but... asked to get an abortion 107
53. He promised not to let me down and still let me down 109
PART TWO. ALREADY ANOTHER GIRL IN YOUR ROOM ... …111
54. I am feeling like Othello in a skirt with him 112
55. He praises his girlfriends to me 117
56. He sings the praises of his ex-wife 118
57. My boyfriend is being stalked by his ex 120
58. Lisette, Paulette and oh, Marietta 122
59. What if he loves her? 123
60. He’s fine now, he’s with another girl 124
61. He can’t choose from three girls 126
62. An abuser or just a womanizer? 127
63. Can a womanizer become faithful? 128
64. My boyfriend calls himself polyamore 130
65. It turned out he had a wife 131
66. He likes me, but he's still married 133
PART THREE. SLEEPING WITH AN ABUSER 135
67. Where are the nights full of fire? 136
68. He “protects” me from sex 139
69. It hurts him, but is it my fault? 141
70. I'm terribly dependent on him sexually 142
71. He turned form a sex terrorist into a block of ice 144
72. Both husband and lover are narcissists 146
73. He wants me to sleep with others 147
74. I cheated on him, repented, but he continues tormenting me 150
75. He wants to, but...stops 151
76. He counts my orgasms 152
77. He cheats on me, but gives gifts 154
78. He discovered masochism in me 155
79. He says that I’m insecure 158
80. He pesters me in front of his colleagues 160
81. He cheated on me, but he honestly admitted it 162
82. Did he sleep with me out of pity? 163
PART FOUR. TO LEAVE AND NOT TO RETURN 165
83. How to decide to break up? 166
84. How to leave forever the first time? 168
85. I want to leave, but he won’t let me go 171
86. Is it possible to get out of a toxic relationship yourself? 172
87. How to make him leave me alone? 173
88. How to tell him about the breakup? 177
89. Wait for an excuse or just leave? 178
90. Should narcissus be told at parting
that he is a narcissist? 180
91. Block him or not? 182
92. He said he would take revenge 184
93. He threatens suicide if I leave 187
94. I maxed out my credits for him. I’m afraid to leave and remain
in debt 188
95. Does it happen that there are no pings? 191
96. Why is he wearing my pendant and drinking from my cup? 193
97. I didn't wait for the sugar show 195
98. Should I respond to his congratulations? 196
99. He unblocked me, but silent 197
100. “I’ll never come back to you!” 198
101. He became a completely different person 199
102. I have an expensive birch switch in it 201
103. Is it possible to part well? 203
104. Or maybe he really wants it all back? 205
105. How to behave in case of a chance meeting? 206
106. 100-day quarantine has passed. Is it possible to communicate with him? 209
107. We broke up, but continue working in the same office 210
108. How to last six months next to a narcissist? 211
109. He has a lot of my photos. Can I expect him to do mean things? 213
110. He writes my friends nasty things about me 215
111. I cry when I hear our song 216
112. How to leave if we have a child? 218
113. He won’t leave us alone anyway 221
114. My parents won’t understand my divorce 222
115. I divorced with him, but he comes every day 224
116. I'm afraid he's going to take our baby away from me 228
117. How not to lose yourself in the struggle for a child? 229
118. Can a child from a narcissist become a narcissist? 230
119. He is a terrible husband, but... a wonderful father? 232
120. I couldn't stand it and came back 233
121. I want him to come back 235
122. I can't stop loving him 236
123. I can't forget the good things that happened between us 238
124. How to hurt him? 239
125. My relatives chatted all my ears off about him 241
126. I left, and he posted his confession letter online 243
127. No one understands my suffering 245
128. I broke up. I hate. How to find a way of dealing with it? 248
129. They didn't even understand me in the support group! 250
130. I talk to him all the time... in my mind 252
131. I think about him a lot. Maybe he connects to me remotely? 253
132. I want to make him propose me and leave him 255
133. Did I manage to kill his self-esteem? 257
134. Is it a weakness to leave the abuser? 258
135. He wants to start a new life and asks for my help 260
136. Divorce him or convince him to be treated? 263
137. I want to date him just for sex 266
138. Could a “holy man” be an abuser? 268
139. He cries in the movies. Is he capable of feeling, then? 270
140. He’s been normal for ten years! 273
141. I can’t find a replacement for him 276
142. I started living with a good one, but I'm secretly dating my ex 277
143. Should I give a chance to an old suitor? 278
144. He said, “Call me when you get rid of your principles” ………280
145. I got into an abuser again 281
146. I’m looking for romance, but I get into abuse 283
147. I don’t believe in love anymore. Looking for sex without obligations 284
148. Will I meet a good man again? 287
149. Does life punish abusers? 288
150. What a happy life is a life without abuse! 290
ABC of Abuse 294
Helpful information 303
PART ONE. BLOSSOM AND BERRIES 11
1. Idealizing or really in love? 12
2. Her way from a goddess to a skinny junkie 15
3. He is calling me positive and holy 16
4. Why didn’t I sense his lies? 18
5. He treated women badly but love to me made him different 20
6. Why didn’t we have romance and worship? 24
7. He hated me, and then fell in love 25
8. He likes me, but he's shy 27
9. I was like under hypnosis 32
10. I can’t forget the euphoria of the first weeks 33
11. Her sun rises and sets on him 35
12. He demanded to leave social networks 37
13. I can’t help but worry 40
14. I broke my leg, but he didn’t care 41
15. I told him the most intimate 42
16. “Change your character or break up” 44
17. “Are you ready to improve yourself for the sake of a loved one?”………45
18. He didn’t come either half past six or half past seven... 46
19. He tells me nasty gossip about me 49
20. After I confessed my love to him, hell began 50
21. He makes me watch a violent movie 52
22. I’m waiting for him to open up to me again 53
23. One day he adds me as a friend, then the next day he unfriends me 54
24. I live in fear of offending him 56
25. It's bad with him, but it’s even worse without him 58
26. He said, “You’re blind”, and gone 59
27. “You’re not even interested in what happened to me?” 61
28. He has no money for food, I want to give him 5,000 62
29. He moved in with me three weeks later 65
30. He asked to marry me and... is silent about the wedding 66
31. Is he going to marry her? 69
32. Is there an abuse without depreciation? 70
33. He doesn’t hit me, but I have... bruises 71
34. I became afraid of holidays 73
35. He demands money from me for his mortgage 75
36. My boyfriend offered me to give him my salary .76
37. He promised to surprise, but didn’t even congratulate me 78
38. He is demanding I return gifts he gave me 81
39. Are there generous abusers? 82
40. He complains to everyone that I don’t cook well 83
41. He reproaches me with every piece 84
42. He says that I attract negativity into his life 87
43. I started playing giveaway 89
44. ... it would be better if he shouted! 90
45. We spend hours sorting things out 92
46. I drink, and it's still not enough 94
47. He demands I always be perfect 96
48. I’m thinking about suicide more and more often 99
49. I don’t know which one of us is an abuser anymore 101
50. I tried to have a dialogue, but I got even more confused 103
51. He said that the solution of our problems is a child 105
52. He dreamed of having children, but... asked to get an abortion 107
53. He promised not to let me down and still let me down 109
PART TWO. ALREADY ANOTHER GIRL IN YOUR ROOM ... …111
54. I am feeling like Othello in a skirt with him 112
55. He praises his girlfriends to me 117
56. He sings the praises of his ex-wife 118
57. My boyfriend is being stalked by his ex 120
58. Lisette, Paulette and oh, Marietta 122
59. What if he loves her? 123
60. He’s fine now, he’s with another girl 124
61. He can’t choose from three girls 126
62. An abuser or just a womanizer? 127
63. Can a womanizer become faithful? 128
64. My boyfriend calls himself polyamore 130
65. It turned out he had a wife 131
66. He likes me, but he's still married 133
PART THREE. SLEEPING WITH AN ABUSER 135
67. Where are the nights full of fire? 136
68. He “protects” me from sex 139
69. It hurts him, but is it my fault? 141
70. I'm terribly dependent on him sexually 142
71. He turned form a sex terrorist into a block of ice 144
72. Both husband and lover are narcissists 146
73. He wants me to sleep with others 147
74. I cheated on him, repented, but he continues tormenting me 150
75. He wants to, but...stops 151
76. He counts my orgasms 152
77. He cheats on me, but gives gifts 154
78. He discovered masochism in me 155
79. He says that I’m insecure 158
80. He pesters me in front of his colleagues 160
81. He cheated on me, but he honestly admitted it 162
82. Did he sleep with me out of pity? 163
PART FOUR. TO LEAVE AND NOT TO RETURN 165
83. How to decide to break up? 166
84. How to leave forever the first time? 168
85. I want to leave, but he won’t let me go 171
86. Is it possible to get out of a toxic relationship yourself? 172
87. How to make him leave me alone? 173
88. How to tell him about the breakup? 177
89. Wait for an excuse or just leave? 178
90. Should narcissus be told at parting
that he is a narcissist? 180
91. Block him or not? 182
92. He said he would take revenge 184
93. He threatens suicide if I leave 187
94. I maxed out my credits for him. I’m afraid to leave and remain
in debt 188
95. Does it happen that there are no pings? 191
96. Why is he wearing my pendant and drinking from my cup? 193
97. I didn't wait for the sugar show 195
98. Should I respond to his congratulations? 196
99. He unblocked me, but silent 197
100. “I’ll never come back to you!” 198
101. He became a completely different person 199
102. I have an expensive birch switch in it 201
103. Is it possible to part well? 203
104. Or maybe he really wants it all back? 205
105. How to behave in case of a chance meeting? 206
106. 100-day quarantine has passed. Is it possible to communicate with him? 209
107. We broke up, but continue working in the same office 210
108. How to last six months next to a narcissist? 211
109. He has a lot of my photos. Can I expect him to do mean things? 213
110. He writes my friends nasty things about me 215
111. I cry when I hear our song 216
112. How to leave if we have a child? 218
113. He won’t leave us alone anyway 221
114. My parents won’t understand my divorce 222
115. I divorced with him, but he comes every day 224
116. I'm afraid he's going to take our baby away from me 228
117. How not to lose yourself in the struggle for a child? 229
118. Can a child from a narcissist become a narcissist? 230
119. He is a terrible husband, but... a wonderful father? 232
120. I couldn't stand it and came back 233
121. I want him to come back 235
122. I can't stop loving him 236
123. I can't forget the good things that happened between us 238
124. How to hurt him? 239
125. My relatives chatted all my ears off about him 241
126. I left, and he posted his confession letter online 243
127. No one understands my suffering 245
128. I broke up. I hate. How to find a way of dealing with it? 248
129. They didn't even understand me in the support group! 250
130. I talk to him all the time... in my mind 252
131. I think about him a lot. Maybe he connects to me remotely? 253
132. I want to make him propose me and leave him 255
133. Did I manage to kill his self-esteem? 257
134. Is it a weakness to leave the abuser? 258
135. He wants to start a new life and asks for my help 260
136. Divorce him or convince him to be treated? 263
137. I want to date him just for sex 266
138. Could a “holy man” be an abuser? 268
139. He cries in the movies. Is he capable of feeling, then? 270
140. He’s been normal for ten years! 273
141. I can’t find a replacement for him 276
142. I started living with a good one, but I'm secretly dating my ex 277
143. Should I give a chance to an old suitor? 278
144. He said, “Call me when you get rid of your principles” ………280
145. I got into an abuser again 281
146. I’m looking for romance, but I get into abuse 283
147. I don’t believe in love anymore. Looking for sex without obligations 284
148. Will I meet a good man again? 287
149. Does life punish abusers? 288
150. What a happy life is a life without abuse! 290
ABC of Abuse 294
Helpful information 303
与施虐者同眠：走出亲密关系中的情感操纵
选题分类
心理通俗读物 变态/病态 恋爱 婚姻
原版语种
俄语（可提供图书翻译服务）
版权推荐
★每个女人都应该拥有的一本书！一本不可抗拒的书，也是一本救命书！
★亲密关系中150 种女性最常遇到的情感操纵典型情况。
★本书如何在为时已晚之前发现施虐者：那些可能没有注意到的隐藏技巧和操纵，帮助我...
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