★The Simplified Chinese copyright has been sold!
★Already in its sixth printing in two months after its publication with 9,000 copies!

Underneath the veneer of adulthood, we're just kids filled with holes in our hearts.

I finally understand that
Personally, I am me, dad is dad, and mom is mom.
We have our individual lines of relationship in our hands with our own destinies.
No one should live with anyone else's life on their back.

Undigested childhood hurts are unconsciously internalized, replicated, and even passed down to us.
But now you see that, and you know that your choices can be different from the ones your parents choose.

▌"When I become a parent, I must not be like my parents!" That is the vow we made when we were young. But when we grow up, we realize, "Why are we doing the same thing?"
During his counseling career for years, Fong Yee Leong accompanies those who have suffered from family loss, just as he accompanies himself when his father abandoned him as a child and his mother died when he was a teenager, and he was so miserable that he wanted to end it all.

●The first unexpected question that the boy who receives counseling asks is, "Will you give up on me?" His parents divorced, neither of them wanted him, and his grandmother, who is his dependent, passed away.
●A young terminal cancer patient cries out, "I want to die so badly!" His mom and dad have a frosty relationship, his sister stays out of it, and he's the one who's been trying to gather the family for years.
●She says, "I want to grow up!" She has been being abused by her father since she was kid, but many years later, her family are relieved to learn that her father suffers from psychosis. However, who can save the crying little girl in her heart?

We, little kids, unconsciously absorb our mom and dad's emotions and live with their lives on our backs for better or worse, even if it's far overloaded. And as we grow up, instead of disappearing, they morph into the anxiety of abandonment, the questioning of being not good enough and the infinite self-criticism...
We can't help but do the same thing to ourselves, and without even realizing it, repeat it to our children.
Exploring the past is not about uncovering the scars, but about letting go of the burden, honoring and trusting what their family has done with their lives. Simultaneously, we start again from here, reattach the lines of family relationships that belong to us, and keep the next generation from suffering again.

▌This book is not an attempt to change our parents or to reshape our families of origin. What matters most is how we can see ourselves, heal ourselves, and remake ourselves from intergenerational hurts.

Features
●Starting from the triangle diagram of the family of origin, the book penetrates into the family structure to "discover" the source of your lifelong suffering and hardship and from there, each of us has the opportunity to "choose again", "adjust again", and "create again".
●You can't control the lines of relationship that are out of your hands. The more you try to control these relationship lines, the more frustrated you will feel. Because everyone has his or her own destiny, no one owes anyone anything, and no one should be burdened by anyone.
●Fong Yee Leong: "You can read this book as a simple storybook, purely reading other people's stories. You can also read it deeply and try to understand your inner heart through their stories. If you can connect to the self that hides the pain through this book, I congratulate you, because you finally find the self that hides in the corner and hurts alone. I bless you."

Fong Yee Leong

●Senior Counseling and Consulting Worker, Medical Social Worker
●Former Vice-President of Life Line Association Malaysia
●The Healthcare Humanity Awards 2009 by the President of Singapore
●Most Popular Writer by readers of Sin Chew Daily (Malaysia's most influential Chinese-language media) in 2011
●The Finalist of The Ten Outstanding Young Malaysians Award 2011
He is a master of Social Science (Counseling) at University of South Australia. He has more than 20 years of experience in counseling and hospice care practice. He has counseled more than 1,000 couples and youths, accompanied more than 1,000 terminally ill patients and bereaved parents, conducted more than 200 in-depth learning workshops on family care and hospice care, and has delivered more than 800 lectures (with an audience of more than 400,000 people).
He is the author of Allow Yourself to Choose Love, which has been sold in Simplified Chinese (titled Don't Say It's a Fault from Family of Origin). He is also the author of Allow Grief, The Best Farewell, The Already Bright Sky, Find Light and Love, and Stay with You to the End.